Most of us have heard of pre-nuptial agreements. Most people, when planning to marry, are pretty reluctant to even consider them. They think a pre-nup is for the wealthy or the untrustworthy or both. They think a pre-nup means they don’t have confidence that the new marriage will succeed.

This is simplistic thinking. If there is one thing that helps relationships succeed, it is ensuring appropriate boundaries. A contract is an expression of expectations and intentions that put boundaries around a relationship.

A contract between committed partners, whether married or unmarried, can be one of the best ways you can help your relationship succeed.

A traditional pre-nuptial agreement primarily covers property and financial issues. It helps define what couples expect and intend for their estates. But a couples contract does that, and more. A couples contract is a must for any couple who lives together, married or not.

Not only does a couples contract define expectations and intentions for income, property and estate rights, it can define how couples will handle conflict, if it should arise and what they want and expect in other important areas of their lives.

Maryland does not have a statute governing pre-marital agreements, but has set standards for pre-nuptial agreements by appellate court decision (Frey v. Frey, 298 Md. 552, 471 A.2d 705 (1984)). Other states have adopted the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act (the “UPAA”) (check out this link for a full text version: UPAA).

Like any contract, it’s well worth the expense of seeking competent legal advice before you enter into it. Whatever you do, don’t just download a form from the internet and fill it out the day before you move in together or get married. And if your partner has a lawyer, be sure you do too.

The standards that make these contracts enforceable are based on the assumption that each person in the relationship has a full understanding of what they are doing when they enter into them. That’s why it’s useful to have competent legal advice. Make sure there is plenty of time to think about it too. There should be plenty of time (at least a week or more) between each stage in the process: between the time you get a draft from your partner and the time you sign it; and between the time you sign it and the time it becomes valid (i.e., either when you move in together or get married).

Investing the time and money to draft a couples contract will help strengthen your marriage or partnership by giving it clear boundaries, standards for resolving conflict, and a set of intentions that can’t be questioned. Properly drafted and entered into, a pre-nuptial or couples contract is one of the best ways to avoid or diminish problems later in the relationship.